Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The greatest of these is love.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" - 1 Corinthians 13

We are officially at the beginning of the end. And since I couldn't get through a 3 minute conversation with my mom and dad without bawling like a baby, I figured this would have to suffice for everyone out there until things calm down.

We met our new doctor today at 2pm (who I love, btw) and had a very thorough exam. She was very concerned about the two low and declining heart rates we had gotten so far so sent us in for an immediate ultra sound.

In one of the worst moments of our life, we witnessed our little miracle as it began its decent into dying. The heart would beat, pause a moment or two, then try to beat again. In the end, the heart rate was down to 54 bpm.

The doctor, while reassuring that any baby that is miscarried would not have had a good life if it was carried to term as well as of our chances of conceiving again, had little hope that this pregnancy would make it.

I have to go back in Tuesday to see if the heart has stopped and to begin the process of waiting for the baby to leave me. I am hoping it all happens quickly and naturally and doesn't hurt too much.

Right now, the only hope to cling to is that of the love Jesse and I share in addition to all the outpouring of love from our friends and family. I'll be back Tuesday, with an update, and be damned sure, we'll be back to chronicle the miracle of life when we're lucky enough to be pregnant again.

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