Let's get this party started!

37 weeks and 4 days in and I am ready to go! I am cramping up most days and baby Weeks has definitely dropped over the last weekend. At my weekly appointment today, she concluded I was a "tight" 1 cm dilated! This makes me hopeful that he'll be on time and make his grand entrance in 2.5 weeks! These cervical checks are not fun though, let me tell you (1 finger is in 1 cm, 2 is 2, then they just start spreading to see if you're further, one would think medicine would have advanced past that, but no). The doctor warned me I may be sore and spot for a while afterwards and that is just what's happening now.

Thus after my first day back to teaching (no breaks with 125 15-17 year old sophomores) and getting checked today, I am spent. I'm giving up on housework for the day and even ordering a sandwich out instead of cooking.

Unfortunately, my doctor was booked all of next Thursday and Friday afternoons, which puts me back for a checkup on Wednesday, my birthday. Hopefully I'll be able to fit in something fun - J has law school Wednesdays so maybe my folks will come up for dinner! I will definitely keep you all updated, I am getting more excited by the day!

With 3 weeks to go, baby Weeks has a nursery

It is done! Woo Hoo! We placed up our final decal during Hurricane Irene this afternoon so we are officially go to go!

Car seat inspection 101

We were given a tip from one of our classes to ensure that our car seat was inspected before taking little baby Weeks home from the hospital. Despite feeling fairly confident we did it "right", I put in a call to my town's fire department earlier this week. They directed me to the local state police barracks (in MA, we have state police stations pretty much in every other town). The officer I reached was kind and cordial and set up an appointment to go through things with us.

We arrived last night thinking things would take about 5 minutes, especially since we had dinner plans with friends in the city a half an hour later. One hour later, we left. To make a long story short, there are many tricks to ensure your car seat is installed safely. We had done everything "right", but not well. He moved the seat from behind the passenger seat to the middle for two reasons, 1) Side air bags are dangerous to kids and 2) Any side impact from a crash could easily be lethal to a child. He also helped make sure that the seat moved no more than an inch in either direction.

Most importantly, and to my delight he went over the importance of having a "clean" car. In an accident, any junk in the car is an instant projectile. I experienced this first hand this past October. I was rear-ended and a bowl I had in the back seat was slammed all the way to the front and shattered into hundreds of pieces. I try to make sure my car is nearly always clean, but J is another story. He car is constantly a disaster of epic proportions. He's really going to have to learn to put his stuff away at the end of the night for the safety of our little one.

I definitely recommend making sure everyone goes through a car seat inspection, no matter how well you think you did. We'll definitely be making sure our parents do the same before we have them drive our little one anywhere!

OMG there is a car seat in my car!

And baby Weeks is scheduled to make his arrival in 3.5 weeks! Last Saturday, J's parents through us a slightly less than traditional, but fun nonetheless baby shower. The non-traditional aspects are slightly overwhelming to type out, but make for a good story :)

Everyone was full of love for our soon to arrive bundle of joy and really made the day enjoyable! We were blessed with even more gifts for baby Weeks, including his crib (thanks to my in-laws), swing and high chair (thanks mom and dad, you rock!), and his stroller system (big thanks to my brother and soon to be sister in law, speaking of whom were the best ever all day, I don't know what I'd do without them!). We were also lucky enough to receive a lot more baby clothes, diapers and accessories, making our shopping nearly complete. I have to do a small run to BRU tomorrow, but it should wrap it up!

Speaking of nearly wrapped up, with the crib in the room and most of our wall hangings up, the nursery is just about done! I'm waiting on one more decal to get here (http://worddecor-n-more.com/item_331/KING-OF-THE-JUNGLE-Kids-Wall-Art.htm) to complete the room, then there will be pictures galore!

We were able to build the swing, stroller, snap and go stroller - and put away our loot today as well. Most importantly, we installed baby's car seat! I'm getting it inspected by the State Police on Thursday to ensure we did a good job, but OMG I HAVE A CAR SEAT IN MY CAR. It's funny what little things can make everything seem so real. Just looking behind me and seeing the seat ready to go makes me nearly burst in anticipation! Soon enough I'll be holding my miracle in my arms. I just can not wait!

Mythbusters: Breastfeeding 101

With under 5 weeks to go, I thought I was on auto-pilot, smooth sailing if you would. The birthing class was a smashing success, the CPR class lovely, Baby Weeks' room is pretty much set up, clothes are washed, we are ready to go. I've even been looking forward to breastfeeding - selfishly, it will help me lose weight faster and maybe even prevent certain cancers, and it couldn't be a better choice for baby. Breast is best for a reason, breast fed babies really get a head start on life and I've been determined to do a good job feeding my little one. Now, I'm scared shitless. This is going to be a challenge.

Personal Myth #1: Breastfeeding is quick and easy. I've seen babies drink out of bottles, it takes like 5 minutes, breastfeeding will be the same.
Busted: Breastfeeding takes between 10-20 min per breast, with a grand total of up to 40 minutes every time you do it. Babies eat at least every 3 hours, that means I could be at this almost 6 hours a day. HOW DO YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE? HOW DO PEOPLE WORK? On average, he'll need to eat twice during the night and I'll have to be up for 40 minutes doing it, when do you sleep??
I also have crazy obligations in the month of October - the first weekend I have my SIL's baby shower, then the next my soon to be SIL bridal shower, the next a wedding we wanted to go to, the one after my soon to be SIL's bachelorette, and finally my mom's bridal shower for my soon to be SIL. In my head I though I'd be cool going to all of these events, now I can't wrap my head around any of them. Am I going to have to trek my little guy around at 2, 3, 4 weeks old so I can feed him on the hour? And with it taking so long to do, how do you "excuse" yourself from a shower for 40 minutes? All of these things are so important to me and I already feel like I'm letting people down.

Personal Myth #2: I'll start pumping ASAP so Jesse can do night feedings and I can sleep.
Busted: First, you have to wait 3-4 weeks (at least) to introduce a bottle. Fine. But, the way the whole science of this works is that your breasts produce milk when baby takes milk. So if Jesse does the night feedings and I sleep, that means my production will slow way down because I'm going 8 hours between feedings. I'll have to either pump during the night when he bottle feeds or suck it up and keep it up all night.

Personal Myth #3: I'll feel attractive again once I lose the weight after baby arrives.
Busted: It's been hard being surrounded by my very pretty and very skinny friends all summer. I've gained over 30 pounds and feel like a huge blob every day. My maternity clothes are starting not to fit and I'm starting to worry what I'll do about work - I certainly don't want to spend money on something I'll wear for 3-5 weeks, but what else can I do? Thus, I've been looking forward to my post baby body with vigor. I've kept up my exercise routine (2 mile walk/runs 3-4 days a week and yoga weekly) and don't have any stretch marks to date so have been hopeful. However, after watching the videos at the breastfeeding class, my hope sank. How can anyone feel sexy leaking milk out of their boobs all the time? How can my husband and I reinvigorate a sexual relationship when if he touches my breasts they will most likely start spurting milk?

Personal Myth #4: Once baby comes, the responsibility will be more even for his care.
Busted: How could it be more even with the responsibility, time, and care it takes to breastfeed? Again, I feel like this entire process is on the mother's shoulders. I don't want to fail, I don't want to do bad job, I want to be a good mom. Despite all of this, I am still determined to make breastfeeding work. It's worked for thousands of years for women who's circumstances far exceeded my own, I can make it work for me. But like everything that comes with the joy of motherhood, it is that - work. At least I am better informed now so none of this will come as a shock once my little guy gets here. I've got 5 weeks left to let it all sink in, prepare, and think of all of the joy being so close with him will bring!

Pediatrics

A couple months back, we checked with our primary care doctor about recommendations for a pediatrician for baby Weeks. It is super important to set this up in advance since you never know a) If the pediatrician you chose is actually taking on new patients and b) If you'll like them. Luckily, the doctor our doctor recommended was taking on new patients and suggested meeting us early in August to answer any questions we may have. We met up with him this morning and were quite impressed. He's in practice by himself, located about 20 minutes from our house, and has a clean and kid-friendly office. We spent almost a half hour with him without feeling rushed as he talked us through baby's first few visits. I was hoping he'd have quick fixes for some of the burning questions I had (when to introduce a bf baby to a bottle 3 weeks? 4? 6?, when should we start letting him sleep in his crib?). Despite my need for answers, he kept asserting that those type of choice are up to us and our baby. We have to decide what kind of parents we want to be and be able to notice what our baby needs and wants. Although this did not soothe the super-planner inside of me, it made me feel good about him. I feel like he doesn't subscribe to a one-size fits all babies philosophy and will always take my child's personal needs in mind.
Another milestone down with 5.5 weeks left until we meet our little angel!

Laundry time

Even though I knew it was coming, I had no idea it would be this epic. Laundry. 5 loads. How can anything so small fill up my machine so fast? What really added up weren't his actual outfits, (I washed all newborn, 0-3, and 3 month sizes, anything bigger will get dusty before he wears it) but all of the linens. Everything that touches baby has to be washed (in free and clear or baby detergent) before baby arrived - this means every blanket, sheet, waterproof pad, washcloth, towel, hat, moby wrap, everything. I'm also a stickler for hanging clothes outdoors (I literally save $15/month doing this) so this became an all day project. I'm done now and got to put his coming home outfit in my hospital bag, that alone made it all worthwhile!

Coming Home

As the days pass by, the arrival of baby Weeks becomes more and more imminent. The moment has been made all the more real with the arrival of a good friend's little one. I got to meet him this past week and he is simply precious - I am just over the moon that my little guy already has a good friend himself :) We also got to take a CPR/Infant Care class this week thanks to a generous gift from another good friend. Both J and I feel more confident in preventing SIDS and and ensuring we could help our little one if he ever did get into medical trouble. Additionally, we had a quick check up where we got to meet another doctor in the practice - we liked her as much we like our regular doctor, and she liked everything about baby Weeks, even declaring him head down!

Most exciting for me was finally getting J to Carter's to pick out a couple outfits for baby's homecoming. I've been taking care of their coupons (20% off your total order) for months now stocking up, but with law school insanity J hasn't had time. He has a great eye for baby clothes, and once he shook off his nerves really dug right in. We chose a newborn outfit and a 3 month outfit in case he's really big. And for your viewing pleasure:

Showered!

Wow! I'm still basking in the joy that was my baby shower yesterday. My mom went crazy out of her way to ensure that everything was exactly the way I'd want it. She booked a classy joint, filled it with amazing food and even more amazing people. Everyone was in good spirits, and seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. It was great to be able to share the experience with old friends, new friends, and family from all corners of the area. Both my sister in law and sister in law to be were stars of the show, helping my mom and myself out whenever possible. Bottom line, I am a blessed person. Although all of the gifts (so many we had to use Jesse's Dad's work van - think Econoline massive van) are appreciated and loved (and of course already put away - I did move an entire house in a day) what I take away from the day is the love of everyone around. I love you all so much and I can't wait for baby Weeks to meet you all! I'd post pictures of all the goodies, but they have made their way to every nook and corner of the nursery and the house!

Admitted

Over the last couple of weeks, I have been feeling increasing pelvic pressure. The pressure is centrally located, pretty much at my cervix and feels like I'm getting a pap smear from the inside. Mostly this happened after my runs so I've cut back and am mostly speed walking at this point.
Friday, it was back in full force, even without the exercise, so Jesse and I decided to phone it in to the doctor. Since I'm so far along, they wanted me to go straight to L&D at St. V's, so that's what I did.
I wasn't really worried until I got there and somewhere between being admitted to the hospital, stripped to a johnny, and having fetal monitors attached to me, the worried picked up. Ironically, my room was the same on we saw on our tour last week and was ready and equipped for whatever happened. We waited patiently for the doctor who did a full cervical exam (no dilation or effacement), a urine test for a UTI (negative), and then a FFN (more info here: http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/pretermlabor_fetalfibronectin.html). I then had to wait an hour for the results to come back.
Thankfully, everything was ok and we were soon discharged, but needless to say I don't want to be back there until the big day. Baby Weeks's vitals were really strong (the nurse actually called them "beautiful") and my pain was simply diagnosed as aggravated muscles stretching to make more room for baby or simply my baby kicking my cervix.
I'm now pumped for a super fun weekend and relieved that with 8 weeks left, everything looks great!

Educated!

J and I spent our Sunday at St. V's Hospital gearing up for the arrival of our little one. Because of our insane schedules, me working late on Mondays and Friday and him in class Mon, Wed, and Thur night, a month of once a week childbirth education classes was just not in the cards. Luckily, our hospital offers a one day crash course (9am-4pm, we stayed until nearly 4:30) to get us educated.
The cost of the course is $100, but our insurance reimburses us $40/each, making the total cost of the class a mere $20. We were both skeptical and a little cranky going in this morning, well maybe more than a little cranky, as we had no idea what to expect. I was dreading sitting in one room for 7 hours being lectured at, and frankly was frightened that I'd leave more scared than when I went in. That couldn't be further from the truth. We had an amazing instructor and the time literally flew by (I didn't check my watch once) and we both ended up leaving empowered and determined.

A few highlights:

• We spent the morning going over recognizing labor vs. false labor - I didn't learn much new, but was able to confirm all that I read.
• Once you confirm you're in "real labor", a lot of this first stage can be done at home. In fact, she encouraged us to stay at home as long as you can (until contractions are 5 minutes apart and last for a minute - she even had us download an ap to my iphone that calculates all that). During this early stage you can eat a little, thank God and want to keep super hydrated.
• Gravity is your friend during labor. Our hospital is equipped with birthing balls, and a gorgeous atrium. It is really the Cadillac of hospitals. She encouraged us to keep moving as much as we can and to make our birthing rooms our own (bring in pillows/blankets/games/laptops - there's free wifi).
• Then, we got information on where to go when we get to the hospital both during regular hours and after hours - all things I had no clue about.
• We spent a while going over pain medications, the pluses and minuses to using them, and options to control pain without meds. I went in thinking I'd try without meds, but probably end up getting an epidural, but afterwards I feel so empowered that I'm leaning more towards just using the Nubain (an IV med that takes the "edge" off, but allows you to have full movement, once you get an epidural, you are stuck in the bed) if need be. At the same time, our instructor remained very neutral, not advocating for a natural birth or using meds (about 57% of women who give birth at St. V's end up using some sort of med).
• Right before lunch, we got a full tour of the L&D department, including a birthing room (very private, full size TV's, plenty of space) and the postpartum room (even spacier, has a micro fridge, and is completely private). This was also a great experience. I thought I'd walk through the L&D dept. hearing women scream and wail, but it was peaceful and quiet. Oh, and for all of you who want to come and visit, you're more than welcome, after J, I and baby settle in. :)
• After lunch, we went over medical interventions from pitocin to induce labor, to c-sections, to the use of a vacuum or forceps to help the baby out. All of these are kind of scary, but in the end, whatever works to get the baby out safe and sound I am more than willing to do.
• We ended the class going over relaxation techniques and breathing and just chatting some more.

J and I must have asked a hundred questions and were definitely the only dorks in the room who were furiously taking notes the entire time, but I feel good. My head is now full of ample baby knowledge and I'm pumped for the next class we're taking (breastfeeding) in August!

A Packing List

Once you hit the 3rd trimester, my doctor alerted me it's smart to have your "bag" ready. This bag should contain all of the "necessities" you'll need in the hospital. The hospital is well-equipped to take care of baby - all diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. will be covered, but much less so to take care of you. Most insurance companies pay for you to be in the hospital for up to 48 hours after delivery, and I expect to take advantage of every last minute. After reading countless blogs, I've compiled my own list and have my bag (mostly) ready:

• Toiletrees (shampoo/conditioner, body wash, mini loofah, toothbrush/paste, deodorant, chapstick, hair ties, brush, face wash, moisturizer) IMPORTANT NOTE: Put all items in plastic baggies, I already had an epic fail because my conditioner leaked all over the place even though it was brand new.
  
• Basic makeup
• Super Pads (the one the hospital provides apparently aren't great)
• 3-5 pairs of granny panties
• 2-3 pairs of PJ's - I went for 2 pairs of yoga pants and 2 built in bra nursing tanks that way I could go home in one of those outfits
• Nursing bra
  
• Lightweight robe
• Flip flops/slippers
• Coming home outfit for baby (bring newborn and 0-3 size)
• Installed Car Seat/blanket for ride home
• Socks

These items will be last minute grabs - I put the list on the fridge so J will know what we're missing:

• Phone
• Camera
• Video Camera
  
• We're debating bringing my kindle/computer to watch movies
• Pillow (I'm a pillow freak and can't sleep without mine)

It's the final countdown...

30 weeks down, 10 to go!
It's been an exciting time, even more exciting now that the end is near(er). We spent part of the weekend painting baby Weeks's room - it's a yellow called "Chilled Lemonade" that I think is absolutely perfect, I'll be doing a picture post when I get home from work this afternoon! I've also started feeling some of the aches and pains of pregnancy that I've thus far avoided. There's a spot in my mid-back that acts up almost daily and I can't get past the night-time hip pain, so you bet I'll be getting to a massage ASAP.
Although school's out, my part time job has been more hectic than I've imagined. I work 11-8 on Mondays not counting driving, then 8:45-3:30 on Fridays. It doesn't seem that bad, but the kids need full energy from me, something that is rare to have a lot of these days, especially in this heat. Jesse somehow got me a pool pass last week, so I'll be taking advantage of that on my days off, fuller belly and all which I think will really help!
I've also discovered my first stretch mark, it's tiny and on my right boob - not on the belly (yet), but makes me nervous that a whole lot more are to come. I've been doing my best to stay fit this pregnancy, I even signed up for 6 more weeks of yoga, but an extra 30 pounds is an extra 30 pounds no matter how you swing it.
As the weeks wind down, I simply get more and more excited, I'm sure that anxiety of giving birth and having a child will come with time, but for now, I'm just pumped. Baby Weeks has been giving me LOTS of movement in the last couple of days which is extra reassuring and always brings a smile to my face.
In sadder news, I found out last week that my grandmother has Stage 4 lung cancer. At 89.5 years old, there's not much they can do for her, so the waiting game begins all over again. After losing my grandfather a month ago, I am totally not prepare to go through all of the grief again, but for now, all I can do is love her.
Next weekend we're attending an 8-hour epic birthing class, so definitely expect a post then and I'll update with pictures of the baby's room and my ever expanding belly tonight!

Here are my confessions.

I love pregnancy. It is a joy and a blessing. It is everything that I thought it would be and more. But, I am human. And under 30. I went close to 26 weeks or 6 full months not missing anything, well not missing anything much. The last couple weeks have been a different story. I miss things.

Here's the short list:

• Sam Summer at sunset. Or at baseball games. Or anywhere, really.
• Margaritas with Mexican food.
• Tubing down Western Mass rivers.
• Waterparks.
• Amusement Parks.
• Flying. California.
• Shaving my lady parts in less than a blind, awkward 20 minutes.
• My thighs not sticking together when I run. Or walk.
• Looking hot in bathing suit. Looking hot in anything.
• Goat cheese in any form, especially on grilled pizza.
• Sangria. Sangria. And Pinot Grigrio.
• Competing in triathlons/half marathons.
• Getting sexy in a less than awkward manner.
• Hot vinyassa flow yoga.
• All of Kate's Powerhouse classes.
• Lifting heavy things.
• Never asking for help.
• Being completely spontaneous.
• Highlighting my hair.
  
• Going more than 30 minutes between bathroom breaks.
• Oysters. Preferably with pinot grigio.
• Tuna, swordfish, salmon.

To be fair, the reward is WELL worth the sacrifice. I love my changing body, even if it's not sexy. I love every kick, every movement, I literally grin every time he moves. I love the fact that I am literally GROWING life inside of me. I love sharing these moments with Jesse and seeing the unconditional love in his eyes for me and his unborn child. I LOVE picking out and looking for baby stuff. I love the thought of playing with baby Weeks, loving baby Weeks, hell, I love the thought of changing his diapers (don't tell Jesse that part). I wouldn't take any of this back, even for a second, I'm even planning on when we're going to have baby #2. But, someday, when I look back on this blog, I want to know that I am not a perfect pregnant angel. I have a different perspective than those who haven't had a loss, but I too have flaws, I too have misgivings. But I love my baby more than anything in this world already. I just can't wait to meet him.

No news=Good news

I keep growing week by week, both physically and mentally. I've come to terms that baby Weeks is really going to make it and in the meantime is growing like a weed. Seeing my feet now only happens when I break out my yoga moves, twist at an odd angle, and crook my neck to look down; and don't even get me started on the last time I've seen my "lady parts" - that is a post for another day.

All the while I get more and more excited for his arrival. Over the weekend Jesse was away camping with his brothers, which left me to myself and my cleaning. I was a maniac. I swear you can now eat off of any surface in my home, and I mean any. The outside looks just as good - I trimmed all of the hedges, hoed the garden, cleaned the gutters, washed my car and hung the laundry outside. I also fit in time to put together baby Weeks's changing table. This project made his arrival so much more real. There were hundreds of pieces and directions that might as well have been written in Chinese, but I was determined and head-strong. Hours later, every piece was in place and the table was standing strong and ready for many a diaper.

The other big happening was a big doctor's appointment Friday - I had reached the all important 28 weeks - officially 3rd trimester! This means the beginning of the end of my pregnancy as well as a barrage of tests. The biggest is the GD (gestational diabetes - more info here http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001898/). I walk in and the nurse hands me a 10 oz bottle of orange colored liquid and tells me I have 5-minutes to finish the whole thing. I flashed back to my Keystone Light chugging days and told myself I could do it. Plugging my nose the entire time, I downed the most overly sweet, disgusting beverage of all time in under a minute on an empty stomach (you have to take the test after fasting for at least 4 hours, I had eaten since dinner the night before).

Unfortunately, this was only the beginning. I went in quickly for my regular exam, then was ushered upstairs to get my blood drawn. Starving and shaky, my blood was extracted and I was sent downstairs for one final torture. It was time for the update of my Rhogam shot, so I dropped my drawers and got a shot in the bum.

I received the best news today, however - no news. They said if I didn't hear from their office by 5pm today, my results were normal and I don't have GD! Woohoo! Now it's time to keep moving forward and looking forward to every milestone in the final 12 weeks!

Cirlces of Life

As I quickly near my third trimester and all of the worries that plagued me over the last twenty-six weeks begin to fade, my excitement over this pregnancy heightens. Yet, with every rise, there is bound to be a fall.
Last Friday, I lost my grandfather. Although he had been battling the affects of a life-altering stroke for over a decade, I was certain that he would live to see his first great-grandchild born. Over the last few months, his face lit up every time I walked into the room, beaming with pride as my stomach grew and grew. I knew in my heart that meeting my special little guy may just give him the will to keep pushing on.
God, however, had other plans. Jesse and I had a long, fantastic visit with him on Memorial Day, on that I hoped to replicate the day before he passed. Instead of his usual jovial self, he was shell of the man I grew up loving so dearly, and it was that night I knew the end was in sight.
The last few days has been an absolute blur of commuting back and forth to my parent's home, accepting well-wishers, and doing my best to help my mom through these troubled times.
I can't lie - there was a moment or two when I kicked myself thinking that if I hadn't lost my first pregnancy last summer he would have been able to be a great-grandfather, but those thoughts quickly passed. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest through the trees - or in this case, the joy through the loss, but I think this tragedy has somehow already pulled my family closer together, something I know baby Weeks will be more than grateful for. It's kinda like my grandfather's everlasting gift - that of love.
I was lucky enough to be able to give the eulogy at his funeral, I've included the text below as to never forget those moments I hold so dear:

Robert Fredenberg was larger than life. Despite all biases granddaughters must have of their grandfathers, I can firmly state that this is plainly true. My papa lived his eighty years with such fervor, grace and determination that nothing, not even death can hold him back.

My earliest memories of him take place in River Vale, New Jersey where my papa and grandmother made their home. The journey we took down there always seemed like a vacation to another world. Crossing the Tapan Zee Bridge and looking out in the distance to see the skyscrapers of NYC, my mind filled with wonder even before my mom and dad pulled into their driveway. Once there, we summered by swimming in their in-ground pool, seeing the sights of nearby New York and feeling the unconditional love only grandparents could give.

Once we were older, my papa made the decision to move north to CT so that he could be a fuller part of the lives of my brothers and I. We continued to relish visits to their house, visits that became more frequent as I adventured out after getting my driver’s license. One thing was for sure with every visit I made to my papa’s house – love was all around. My grandfather was a man who loved life and those in it with his whole heart. This all-encompassing love was an umbrella for all that he did. Whether it was his endless generosity, voracious appetite, or taste for fine wine – all that he did was out of love.

One would think this story would begin to change after my papa began his battle with stroke in early 2000, but rather, his battle made everything about him stronger. His shear will to continue living in love was evident to me from the earliest days of his recovery. Still mending in the hospital on the day of my junior prom, my grandmother delivered a note from him, that simply stated, “Megan – have fun – love papa”. In those early days, almost everything had been stripped away from him: his ability to walk, to talk, to write. Those five simple words represented his power to survive, to go on.

After my grandmother passed almost eight years ago, my papa’s spirit was tested even more strongly than with his stroke. He loved my grandmother so completely, so devotedly, that life without her seemed impossible. Yet, once again, he persevered. My mother became his beacon of light, spending day and night with him, surrounding him with love, and showing him how much he had to live for. In the last eight years, he’s been able to see so many things – the college graduations of me and my brothers, mine and my brother Gary’s weddings, the engagement of my brother Brian (who without my grandfather’s constant prodding may have never popped the question), countless holidays, birthdays, summers, springs, and falls. Just days before he passed, I spent the afternoon with my papa on his hospital bed. During our entire visit, his hand was firmly planted on my growing stomach, as if reassuring my unborn son that he loves him. I look forward to the day where I can look into my son’s eyes and tell him how special his great-grandfather was.

Throughout these past eight years he never lost his sense of humor or ability to be larger than life. Although Aphasia, the disorder that stole away he ability to easily communicate, slowed down his speech, it never slowed down his wit. My grandfather ceaselessly flirted with waitresses and every pretty woman whose path he crossed, knew when to tell my brothers and father to get a hair cut, made sure my mother and I were always looking our best and always was able to order another glass of red wine.

As I try to find the right words to say good bye to this incredible man – I look down at this note he wrote me so many years ago and want to say the same words to him “Papa – have fun up there, Love, Megan”.

What a belly!

25.5 weeks!
I had another great doctor appointment today, good heartbeat and fundal height still on target (actually measuring a week ahead right now). I'm working hard to eat healthier and work out more to help curve weight gain, but it seems impossible right now. My only concern has been some pretty intense hip pain at night - the doctor assured me this is totally normal, and that it is due to hormonal changes so not much is going to help. I also booked my big 28 week appointment where I'll do the 1-hour gestational diabetes test, get another RHogam shot in my tush (for those who don't know I have a RH negative blood type, more info on being RH negative here http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/rhfactor.html), and get a bunch of blood drawn. Fun, right? For now - my gigantic belly!

Bravery and the two piece

At 24+ weeks my body is bulging from all corners. As much as it was a blessing to have no morning sickness, it comes with the curse of more weight gain. For the most part I have embraced my baby body, although the heavy price tag that comes with replacing my entire wardrobe has not been easy.
This past weekend, J and I took a mini-vacation to Maine. In the interest of saving money, we used J's family's trailer instead of splurging on a 4-star hotel. The weather was simply wonderful and called out for a beach day like no other. The one thing I haven't yet replaced are my hoard of bathing suits as I've been hoping to squeeze into what I already have. No such luck. Even with my largest of suits, I was definitely a wardrobe malfunction ready to happen.
Somehow though, I rocked it. I strutted my stuff, 20+lbs heavier, all day long. Screw maternity bathing suits, this belly was made to be seen. I scored myself my first tan of the season and somehow managed not to give the beach-goers more of a show than anticipated.
Upon coming home, I caved and spent another $90 on bathing suits from Victoria's Secret in a size larger than I'm used to. I am now poised and ready to rock this belly all summer long!

Prom 2011 - Knocked up edition

I know this is slightly off topic - but since I'm powering through my exhaustion from last night, I felt like it was appropriate. Last night, I had the honor of chaperoning my high school's prom for the second time. And it was quite the honor. First, teachers have to be "invited" to go (mostly because the high cost of feeding us) and second, because it showcased what a unique environment I work in.
In 2000, I went to my own prom, and it was great. I was caught up in my then boyfriend's arms 90% of the night an spent the other 10% of the night posing for pictures with my friends. No where and during no moment do I recall a single interaction with a teacher or did I even want to. Flash forward 11 years to last night. I was like a superstar caught in the paparazzi action of my student's cameras.
Unlike the suburban utopia I grew up in, my students live in an entire different world. Most of them have never dressed up for a formal occasion, some haven't even been to the suburb where the prom was held, even though it is only one town over from the city. Many of them spent the entire year fundraising to pay for their $65 ticket because the price was so far out of reach. We spent the winter helping girls find dresses for free and donating our old gowns to them.
As I was monitoring the candy bar (great job for a pregnant lady ;)) I was surrounded by my students past and present. All wanted to pose for pictures with me, all wanted a hug, all wanted to congratulate me on Baby Weeks. Throughout the night, more of the same continued. The dance floor was not divided between cliques, but was a hot sweaty teenage mesh of kids just having fun. So much fun in fact that they encouraged us to do the "Dougie" with them and pulled us in the middle of their dancing circle. Yes, at an inner-city prom the teachers dance too, without a single eye roll or rude comment.
One of the more touching moments of the night came during dinner when a special needs student was awkwardly dancing alone. At my high school, this young novice would have been laughed at, snickered at, and scoffed at for being so different. Here, a group of boys got up from their meals and joined him, smiling and clapping along.
Working in the "ghetto" comes with many challenges, but it also has it rewards. And beyond the buffet of roast beef, chicken cordon bleu, creamy veggie lasagna and tiramisu I was rewarded with a warm heart, sore feet and a smile on my face.

Bargain Hunting

Most of you know I love a good bargain the way that I now love ice cream. It's hereditary (I mean both the bargain hunting and the love for ice cream). I swear my mom and I have more than one conversation a week where one of is absolutely gushing about how little we paid for something. It's sick. But it's how we roll. You can't stop it.
One of my best friends was in town from Chicago this past weekend and I took a personal day Monday to spend some QT with her. We had big plans on spending the day in Boston, walking around and seeing the Red Sox play, but with the 8 days of rain we're in the middle of right now, that was no longer an option. Instead we headed up to the outlets with little intention of spending any money. But spend (and save) we did.
My first big hit was at the Maidendform outlet where I stocked up on my ever expanding cups. Bras were $10 each and of a great quality. The cheap-o ones I scored at TJ Maxx were $12.99 and up so this was definitely a steal.
Next, we went to the Carter's outlet. I already had awesome deals with them online and that continued in store. I told Kim I was not allowed to spend more than $50 and for $46.98 I got baby Weeks his first zip up hoodie, 2 pairs of pants, a 5-pack of body suits, his first pair of khaki pants, and a couple more onesies I just couldn't pass up.
Finally, I tried my luck at the Motherhood Maternity outlet. The only thing outlet about this place was the shabby decor and worn carpet. The store was a disaster and sold the same things as the full price store at the same prices. Luckily, they had the pair of shorts in my size I was eyeing last week and a couple of 2/$15 tanks I can wear to my yoga class tonight!
Today, I'm proctoring the kids MCAS test - so you know what that means. Online shopping! :)